FIREFLY

A Day at Work. Prepping stuff for team members of the resurrected project, team kick-off and generic background research for new project. Must travel Mon-Wed next week to client-side, which isn't that bad (really only one day up there) but the 7:15 am flight on Wed is going to suck. If it was a flight to Hawaii, it might not suck, but it isn't and it will.

Went by Hentai-kun's w/Tonbo to pick up some art books for his posters. Were going to ask when we could get together to watch Neverwhere (I've read the book, Tonbo has seen the first part of the series). Turns out we can't, because the loan got loaned and the loaner is out of contact right now. But, since hentai-kun's dinner plans got canceled, we stayed around to watch Firefly - the space TV series (all 14 eps) by Joss Whedon of Buffy and Angel fame.

Wow.

After watching the pilot, which was never aired, I had two reactions:
1. I don't want this to end.
2. It's too smart for TV and won't last.

Which it didn't. But there is a movie set to come out in 2005, and maybe that will generate enough interest to bring it back as a series.

Three-dimentional characters who's short description reads like a cliche of sci-fi, but who live on screen in a world where humans are far more terrifying than any alien I've yet met. The introduction of the Reavers was incredibly tense ... and you didn't even see the bastards, just the ship.

I love the dialog, and must surf for quotes on Monday. One scene in particular felt very Buffy-ish, but these are their own people. Lots of stuff that you've always wanted to see, but no show has ever done, and one thing in particular that was kinda of a "well, duh" moment of a very unconventional ending to a very common scene.

I have found a new obsession ...

BILLABLE

Have real projects to work on at work again, which is always a good thing.

Think I might be able to get the rest of the files off the home office floor tonight, given how much progress I made last night. This does not, of course, address the pre-filecabinetbarf piles that were already on the floor. Those have seniority, and probably residents, so they'll be attended to at a later date.

Finished Rich Dad's Business School For People Who Like Helping People. This is the second edition, and Tonbo said it's quite a bit different from the first edition (he and a friend did an almost page by page comparison). I've also read the first one, but don't remember enough of it to recognize the differences, other that the addition of the 3 appendices, which I thought were a good idea. Kiyosaki talks about the benefits of starting a network marketing business in this book, and, as he did not make any of his money this way, it's a nice, level-headed outside perspective. Definitely recommended reading.

Got some nice postcards and stamps from Grape when he came back from his 3 week vacation to Australia. Amazing scenery and wildlife. It's near the top of places to visit when I get the time & money.

Because I'm not going half-way around the world for only a few weeks, and I'm certainly not going coach. :)

JUST ANOTHER DAY

The Little Drummer Boy was up and at it at 7:30 am this morning. I can't imagine what it's like being in the same house with him, considering I can hear him in my house, in my bedroom (other side of the house from his house), with the door closed. Having stayed up late and not having to get up for at least another hour, this was not how I wanted to start my day. He usually plays in the evening which is fine, so hopefully this early rising is not indicative of a habit.

Check-up appointment at the dentist. It takes almost an hour to get there, but I've been going to these guys since the previous dentist was in the building and it's just nice to have people you trust when they stick sharp objects in your mouth.

Lunch with Mom. It's very official they are moving, got the sign on the front lawn and everything. I got a tour of the house and while there is still an incredible amount of stuff in there, for those who know, there is also an incredible amount of stuff that isn't. The CNC machine was gone, which is an amazing event. Then again, I'm pretty sure most people looking to buy a house don't want a CNC machine. That, and Dad wants to take it with him so he can still precisely cut of pieces of metal to make stuff. Once an engineer, always an engineer.

Into the office for the afternoon. Pre-pre kick-off discussions and more JavaScript.

Will also be doing posters for Hentai-kun for his Project A-Kon event. Need hi-res images ...

Storms coming in tonight which validates my headache of Sunday evening. I'm not sure why it's so important to me that I have headaches for a reason - other than to say I'm not nuts.

Or need medication.

At least not because of my headaches.

BE A BEE

Picked up one of the "Learn x in 24 hours ... " computer books and am learning Javascript. My past life of a Director programmer is slowly being unearthed as I get back into actual code. HTML is not code, but it's easy. Javascript is kinda code, and so far, fairly easy.

Felt the need to add skills to the set to be a useful team member while I wait for a kick-off meeting for my next project.

Finished out the first draft of all 90. Now need to add special days, brands, and alphabetize. Still debating how large a sample size to use for 90CD ...

Listening to Jpop album by Angela, she of Stellvia of the Universe OP & ED fame. Really great stuff. Her voice has an amazing quality that I don't have a sufficient knowledge of musical terms to describe. It's not volume or pitch (although she can do those too :), but this third dimension of emotion that ranges from sassy to fun to tender to lonely and sad.

Overall a productive day, and even time for a SuperGALS! ep in the evening before bed. Ran as debutante (?!)

90

Have completed whittling down of 365 to 90, and am starting to put them into the template. Starting to waffle between 3 and 2 again, and need to talk to Tonbo. Am not looking forward to the last one, because it's a whole lot of work, of the kind I'm not looking forward to. But it's scalable for years to come, which means the royalties will be really nice ...

When they start to come in ...

In 2006.

Sigh.

Working today for a brighter tomorrow ...

OUT OF ORDER

Again, not a ha-pi day. Did more filing, cancelled a store-specific credit card I'd had for the past 3 years and never used other than the first-purchase discount I initially got it for, ran errands, checked email, played FreeCell (have completed over 600 games, and yes, I keep track).

Trying to be somewhat productive since I felt I wasted yesterday. Tonbo pointed out some people would not consider it a waste, but instead a Saturday well-spent. Yeah ... well ... maybe ...

Delivered a childhood box of LEGOs to friends who's girls will put it to much better use than it's gotten at the bottom of my closet. Stayed and talked for a while then headed home.

Yet again, Tonbo is a good boyfriend putting up with me and letting me talk honestly with him. It's rare to find someone you can talk to without fear of recrimination, even when the topics aren't pleasant. And I always feel better afterwards, which is sometimes difficult to remember before I get there.

Consuming headache in the evening. Caffeine didn't work. Food didn't work. Finally gave up and went to bed to sleep it off. I got almost 3 inches of water in the backyard from this last batch of thunderstorms, so I wonder what will come down this week. Weather.com says it's supposed to rain on Thursday.

OUT OF ORDER

Again, not a ha-pi day. Did more filing, cancelled a store-specific credit card I'd had for the past 3 years and never used other than the first-purchase discount I initially got it for, ran errands, checked email, played FreeCell (have completed over 600 games, and yes, I keep track).

Yet again, Tonbo is a good boyfriend putting up with me and letting me talk honestly with him. It's rare to find someone you can talk to without fear of recrimination, even when the topics aren't pleasant. And I always feel better afterwards, which is sometimes difficult to remember before I get there.

ANTI-KEATON

Tonbo brought back the whole first season of SuperGALS! thanks to SpoonPrez who also did the subtitling and timing.

This anime series can be considered the Anti-Keaton of anime. Bright bold colors, teenage girls, fashion, fast-talking, totally local to Shibuya/Tokyo/Japan. I initially had no interest in this series, but after watching the first few eps, I'm hooked. Have started the 2nd DVD and it's getting into more backstory on the characters which is always interesting.

Was going to go to the biz groups pot luck & movie night and backed out at the last minute. Have not felt well on and off all day, and it was just going to be too much. I think I'm still processing fallout from last weekend's activities.

OMG! CIRCUITCITYCIRCUITCITY

Circuit City just became a partner store in my business, which means I will get paid when I buy anything from them. I order online, and can even pick it up at the local store (if in stock, which is easy to see with their handy little zip code locator).

Wow.

Mind-numbing wow.

Now we just need a real bookstore, and I'm set for life.

Well, I'll be set for life anyway, and getting paid to read Terry Pratchett would just be nice icing.

LIGHTBULB

Talked with Tonbo this morning about how to implement 365 and we came up with a great game plan. Less and more work at the same time - funny how that happens.

Not likely to see any results until Q4 2005, but when I do ... oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy

Let's just say you'll hear about it here.

Repeatedly.

ps. sometimes I really wonder about the spell-checker: LIGHTBULB came up as LUSTFULLY (?!)

ONWARD

Very good mtg w/Hawke - got a semi-timeline, approval on direction and concept, and I can keep moving forward so that when he's ready to launch, there will be something there to launch, which would be a Good Thing.

Came home and got more paperwork off the floor and into file folders. Read a little more Feet of Clay, talked to Tonbo after he came home from visiting his dad's place. Wanted to finish FoC, but it was already 1 am, and opening up that book again meant I would not have closed it until after 2 am, which was a little bit later than I wanted to be conscious tonight.

RIPPLES

So I'm finally having lunch after going larval on 365 for a couple of hours.

Poking around the biz site, learning more about the products. Been thinking about an eSpring water filter for a while because I'm tired of always hunting to find the replacement filters for my old water pitcher.

Then I found their new Web site: http://www.espring.us/

Nice site, easy navigation, good information.

And you can make ripples on the top graphic.

Really. Cool. Ripples.

Fast, little ripples and slow churning ripples and if you move the mouse really fast it skips along and bounces off the edges.

Web technology at its best.

OK, back to work.

4.5 HRS TO GO

Have a meeting with Hawke this afternoon about our project and am very excited - been waiting for this all week. Send him an agenda and an outline of the processes and other details I've been working through yesterday. Haven't heard anything back, so hopefully I didn't scare him off. :P

Need to focus on 365.

After lunch.

THIS TIME WITH FEELING

Sent out April's QST, and for some reason, didn't feel that happy with it. Useful info, average time to research and write (about 3.5 hours), hopefully help someone out. Yet I didn't enjoy re-reading it as much as I have the other QSTs I've written.

Whatever.

Felt extremely tired when I got home, so I took a 45 minute nap. Woke up and felt bored, which for me means I have a difficult time focusing on anything. The mood will go away, but I'm kind of useless while it's around. And my mind has lots of words about what I should be doing but it gets lost in the temporary apathy.

One thing that will move the mood along is anime or reading Terry Pratchett. And since I'm saving the Master Keaton episodes for dinner, and already had Feet of Clay started, Pterry it was.

Looked up from the novel about an hour and a half later and felt much better. And while I could easily keep reading, it felt like it was time to head into the home office and continue the filing/cleaning up of the paperwork explosion so I'd be able to see my carpet again.

I've got the iPOD hooked up to the computer speakers, and usually just let it run while I'm in that room. The weirdest feeling of the day was that I wanted to listen to a business CD.

And while that may not appear that odd, for me, it was a bit disturbing. I am a visual learner, and have a lot of difficulty just listening to get information. If the speaker is there in front of me, that helps a lot, which is why I don't do well at all with instructional CDs - there's nothing to look at. And unless I sit down and take notes, my mind soon begins to wander to other thoughts and I have no idea what they just said.

When I first started this business, I did listen to the CDs. It was part of the educational system, and while I find the books very easy to go through, I knew the audio programs would take more work. For whatever reason, they took too much work. I hate them. I hate listening to them, I hate how they make me feel, I'd rather do just about anything than listen to those things. [so tell us how you really feel ... ]

So ... I haven't been listening to any business CDs for a while, which is why this feeling of wanting to hear one was almost a little scary. But, the rest of the day had turned out really well based on following my feelings instead of the voices in my head (which can't always be trusted anyway), so I changed the playlist on the iPOD and took a chance.

It was okay. Good even. While sitting on the floor parsing paper into various piles, I also took about 7 pages of notes over the next 45 minutes. Some good stories, stuff I had heard before, a new way of looking at an old subject. Overall, pretty damn good.

Having survived, I felt it was okay to switch back to anime. Small steps are the key, and giving yourself credit for what you have done - something I need to keep in mind. Going to the Leadership and BDS this month were large steps for me, and yet I've already discounted them. I need to learn to live on my laurels for just a little bit longer.

Like at least a day or two.

Tonbo came home after having dinner with old friends and we talked for a bit before going to bed. It's always nice to recap the day and core dump and decompress by talking with him. Unfortunately time tends to speed up when we do this and suddenly it's after midnight when it was only 10:30 pm just a minute ago.

Overall very good day, listening to my heart over my head.

Might have to try it again sometime   :)

KFF UPDATE

Found the numbers I needed for Tonbo, and as a result, my home office looks like the filing cabinet barfed up 2 years worth of paperwork. Which, it essentially did.

Being too tired to clean up, yet wanting to be more productive than playing Spider Solitaire for an hour until Tonbo comes home, I looked at the state of my KFF Web site.

Having mostly recovered from the loss of 2 months of work, it seems good enough to go online.

So here it is.

Long time coming, I know, but maybe there will be more content updates in the "near" future.

And if not, there's always this blog to keep you entertained and up to date on my progress toward financial freedom.

Enjoy.

RETRO-BLOGGING

So ... finally caught up on the past 4 days of blogs, therefore I'm once again "daily". ;)

New work laptop still wonky, therefore working on old work laptop. ITGod got spare boxes in so I got a new new work laptop, and so far (knock on plastic and metal cube) it's behaving itself. ITGod thinks it was a memory issue, because it would just sit there and start to boot, and then give up. And start to boot, and then give up. Like forever until you put it out of its misery.

And I've become rather transient with my computer files anyway. I have (for most things) multiple back-ups. And anything I'm currently working on get saved up to Ashitaka so I can easily transfer it from work to home to work.

But current box has updated iTunes library, so all is well.

Tonbo is going out dreambuilding and car driving with SPOONPrez, so I'm on my own tonight. Need to work on 365 and get Tonbo some numbers for the month. Also need to write a QST for this month.

Always stuff to do.

Someday will have more time to do it.

Like an extra 40-50/hrs/wk.

RECOVERY

So this is my day to recover from the past 2 days.

Slept late, made a card, tried to retro-blog and lost my connection in the middle and gave up, watched more Master Keaton, cooked lunches, admired my new screen door.

Yes, this weekend also marked the latest home improvement of putting new wheels and a new screen on my patio door. It had been easily off the track since I moved in, but it wasn't enough of a bother to do anything about.

Until I tried to close it in a bad mood. And it fell off the track. And I helped it along. Not as much as I wanted to, but it was pretty broken by then anyway.

And, as most home owner's know, no job in complete without at least 2 trips to the hardware store. Therefore, this was an official project because it did take me 2 trips.

But the end result, while not perfect and I'm having to deal with that, is so much better than it was. The old screen was a light gray wire mesh, and the new stuff is a dark gray thread that most of the time doesn't seem to be there at all - it's very cool.

So, while the weather is still under the 80s, and the April storms come through, I can once again have my patio door and windows open and listen to the house be happy.

Oh yeah, storms. Massive headaches Friday & Saturday & this evening, so it damn well better rain this week.


Tonbo got up around 2 pm and after he finished his stuff for the weekend we had a little financial talk. Being able to talk honestly with him is one of the things I value most about our relationship. And it can be difficult. And it's not always pleasant. But it makes me feel a lot better, and the results are worth the pain.

Hmmm ... what a concept. Having to go through rough times to get to a better place. I need to remember that one. :P

Decided (with Tonbo's help) to splurge on Wings tonight. And I was even good and didn't overeat like usual. Still, it was very difficult to stop when there's still a few Lemon Pepper and Garlic Parmesan wings sitting there in the box. And the ranch dressing, can't forget the carrots and ranch dressing.

BDS

So off I am to a Business Development Seminar. They have these once a month, and Tonbo and others in our groups are regulars. I'm an infrequent attendee because it's very difficult for me to handle that many people and that amount of genkiness in one place.

Attending second session is not even an option at this point. Someday, maybe, but not anytime soon.

Tonbo let me sit in the back, which made all the difference. I also brought along Terry Pratchett's Feet of Clay, so for at least a little while before it got started, I was somewhere else enjoying myself. :P

I know I didn't get as much out of it as Tonbo, but I was there, and there's something to be said for that.

"Omedetou, Kestrel-chan!"

LEADERSHIP

PTO which means running errands I haven't had time for the in the past few weeks. Took my bday painting from Karen down to Michael's. Spent a long time picking the mat and frame, because this piece is important to me, and I want it to look really good.

I know I have no really concept of how much it costs to get stuff professionally framed, but I was hoping for around $100. The very helpful and nice lady at the counter gave me their 50% off deal from a few weeks ago, so it only cost me around $200.

Interesting thought processes, because I could justify it for about $200, but would have walked out of the store at the full price of close to $500. Same mat. Same frame. But that extra money was enough to push me off into waiting, compared to signing the dotted line and waiting to pick it up in a week.

Sometimes you find out a lot about yourself by watching what you do. And don't do.

The whole point in taking the day off was so I could have a good day. A good day means I can handle going to a Leadership meeting tonight. Speakers are 2xD, and incredibly wealthy people. Took 3 years to build their house. Big place. Really. Big. Place.

Turned out to be a Q&A session, which is a little different format than normal. Very cool to listen to, although I was floored every time he said "We was". She is very to the point ("I don't") and it's the first time I've thought that there was someone really successful out there in this business that had some of the same hang-ups I do.

So now I just need to get over them.

Easier said than done.

But I get an "omedetou" because it was a stretch to be there. But I'm glad I went.

UGH

Okay, so maybe staying out until 1 am wasn't the brightest thing to do when having to get up at 6 am that morning to get to work.

Be nice when that isn't an issue any more.

New laptop at work. Starting to do wonky things. Hate XP. Love my iTunes library. Have totally given up on keeping my music folder even remotely understandable - as long as iTunes can find them, I'm ok.

Watching more Master Keaton. Very international stories. Nothing big and epic so far, but nice, sweet, interesting slice-of-life kinda of tales. Sometimes not even about Keaton at all.

ps. taught Blogger spellchecker to be "wonky"

FREE FOOD & LOVE KILLS

Won a free dinner for me & friends by having my business card drawn at the local Asian restaurant. Met with Tonbo, Hentai-kun and Raven.

Listened to the little sales schpiel that bought the dinners. Standard financial stuff. Assumed retirement age was 65. Not much said about stock market crash coming in 2012-2015, but anyone who wants you to invest in mutual funds isn't going to tell you about that anyway.

I've worked with a professional financial planner and was on the slow boat to minimal living long with the more aware masses. No one (except me, and I'll prove it in the next few years), is going to tell you that it's possible to retire before 35 (assuming you're younger than 35 by about 5 years ;) because you pretty much can't as an employee. Unless you're a very well compensated employee, and you can live below your means, and invest wisely. Otherwise, you have to be a business owner of some kind. That's where the money and the tax breaks are.

As far as investing in the stock market, Be the Family CFO and you can't go wrong ... unless you don't do what she says. ^_-

Then over to Hentai-kun's massive house and up to the AV room to blowout X TV, thanks to Raven's DVDs. Ended very nicely, as is expected with CLAMP titles, ne? ;)

Interesting how X the Movie, X the Manga, and X the TV series all have slightly different storylines, and in the case of the movie and TV series, pretty different endings. Personally I greatly prefer the TV series.

Very nice evening with friends, and I have once again verified that Tonbo can't be still in a rocking chair (like for more than 10 minutes) to save his life. Which is fine ... as long as I don't have to watch him. It's a weird feeling to get seasick. Sitting in a chair. In someone's house. On dry land.

GOOD SALES BOOK

Finished Sell, Little Red Hen, Sell last night.

I'm impressed. I have found a "good" book about sales, one I recommend. It's got all the good parts, explains the bad parts, and is an enjoyable read. Like Who Moved My Cheese?, the message is told within a parable, using the Little Red Hen as the main character.

For those who don't remember, the Little Red Hen wanted to bake some bread and asked others in the barnyard to help her, and no one would. So she ended up doing everything by herself. When she was ready to take the bread out of the oven and eat it with her chicks, guess who showed up? Guess who didn't get any bread because they hadn't contributed?

Anyway, we catch up with the Little Red Hen years later and she's in some trouble. But she has friends and mentors out there, and with her persistence and willingness to learn, she begins her training in sales.

The last few chapters felt a little rushed - lots of info in a little space. Would have liked to seen more examples of the theories at work. Overall, though, Sell, Little Red Hen, Sell is an excellent book, and worth the 2 hours it took to read.

KEEPING MYSELF BUSY

Got a new laptop at work, so configuring everything kept me busy for a bit.

365 and Hawke are coming along. Slowly. Have to plan for success, which takes a bit longer than planning to just have it work. ^_-

HAPPY EASTER

Had lunch with 4 of Tonbo's family. I went home and he went to his brother's house where 13 of them were going to have an Easter egg hunt with the kids and dinner.

3 hours with them and 2 hours with Turk.

yeah

Got more motivated in the evening, and after time w/Tonbo I got back on the computer and worked on 365.

The exciting part for me is always the brand new idea - can it work? how to make it work? The defining and details and refining and more details. That's what keeps me up at night, planning and making notes, making sure I've got everything covered.

Then it gets kind of boring. Having to actually do it.

That's why my more successful projects (i.e. the ones that get finished) have some kind of structure.

* A calendar - 12 months. Very easy to see progress, and know when I'm half-way done, 3/4 done, etc.
* Ohtori Dalmuti - 80 cards, 13 pictures, simple.
* Writing project 2004 - based on 24 entries, I'm about 1/4 done, but know where I'm going, and how much it will take to get there.
* 365 - bigger, yet will likely have less text, repeatable formula for entries, there's just a lot of them. And trying not to duplicate myself, and provide the most value for the reader.

Watched The Count of Monte Cristo and it was a lot of fun. "Lossely based on" the novel by Dumas, but it's a movie, not a book. I think it's funny when people get really upset about movies that aren't exactly like a book. Film and the written word are two totally different media - they will not render the same experience. Honest.

---------------------------------------------------
Tangent: for an utterly wonderful "re-telling" of Dumas classics in the early history world of Steven Burst's Vlad Taltos books, try The Phoenix Guards and Five Hunderd Years After.

Ack! Just noticed there is a new novel out in this series, Sethra Lavode. She's an incredible character, and now she's got her own novel. Something else for the Wishlist.
---------------------------------------------------

I am looking forward to the next Harry Potter movie - The Prisoner of Azkaban. Because while I love the books, I understand this is a movie. Also, as involved as JKR has been with all of the scripts, I trust her to make sure the important bits are up on the screen.

I WANT TO SPEND MONEY

Trimmed the red roses at the garage door in the morning. I'm letting the one by the fence grow wide and full, to fill the whole corner. On the other side, I completely cleared out the bottom growth, and added some support so it can grow on the site of the house as well. These are trimmed so that it only blooms at the top, like a little rose tree. Like it a lot.

Met parents at Henk's. Tonbo was also able to make it, which was really nice. They are still busy cleaning up, and have made significant progress: you can put a car in the little garage. Trust me, this is an impressive accomplishment considering you haven't been able to see the back wall of this garage for the tools and lumber that has been accumulating in there for the past 20+ years.

My mom keeps telling me I need to stop getting stuff or move every 5 years. Well, we all know of the stuff will keep coming, so I'll just have to take more time to pack, and absolutely hire big strong guys to move it. Having moved myself, by myself, from the last apartment to the first house, I know not to do that again. Help is a good thing.

Had a rough afternoon, not sure why. And that's okay, just difficult for me to let sink in. Because if I knew what was wrong, then I could fix it. Because that's what you do when something is wrong, you fix it. It's not acceptable to be/feel wrong.

yeah.

Tonbo, as always, was very helpful and supportive. He even gave me options for spending money. When I get emotionally messed up, I want to be entertained, to not think about what I don't understand, to keep myself occupied until it runs its course. This, however, costs money. So the idea is to minimize the amount of money spent, and maximize the entertainment value.

HK anime box sets are pretty much the best bang for the buck, so we headed over to Anime Pop. Unfortunately, they didn't really have anything I was interested in, other than Loki, which we'd seen a bit of, which meant it felt wasteful to pay for stuff we already had. Ended up renting the first 4 Master Keaton DVDs. Had seen the first 2 eps, and they are really enjoyable. Soft, some action, lots of detective work. Smaller stories, usually episodic, very international.

Tonbo cooked dinner (he's so cool!), and we watched 3 eps. Then watched a fire, using a combination of my red tip and the parents' tree and kindling. Some sparky bits, and a little blue and green from the newspaper ads thrown in as well.

Overall a good day, which is the goal anyway.

GOOD FRIDAY

Up early to get a new catalytic coverter, which only took a little over an hour, which was very nice. After that, there was a stop at City Garage, because while sitting looking at the bumper in the car in front of me yesterday on my way home from work my "Service Engine Soon" light came, and stayed, on.

They called about an hour later, saying the code for the catalytic converter, and since I had just taken care of that, they cleared the system. For free. I love these guys.

The rest of the companies in the office building had today as an official holiday (not so for us), which mean the building wasn't going to be air conditioned. B's Bear sent out an email that we should start the holiday weekend around noon, so there was no reason for me to drive in. WooHoo!

QAed some stuff, then worked on Hawke's stuff. Have packed up the scrapbooking and taken over the dining room table with various piles of paper as I work through processes and details. Still exciting, and hope to get some of his time next week to go over stuff, set some deadlines, etc. Want it established before the end of the year to take advantage of Christmas. In a good way. :)

BIG light bulb lit over my head late in the evening. Ran the idea by Tonbo who approved, so I'm off on this tangent for a little bit. Want to get it done by the end of April (May at the latest) to feed it to the people who can really make it happen. May/should/will result in royalties next year. WooHoo!

Lots of flashy bits, but no rain.

RAT RACE

So I got lucky about a week ago by missing a massive wreck on the turnpike. I wandered my way through the streets and it only took an hour to get home.

Not so lucky today. Stuck right in the middle of it, and it was over 2 hours to get me home. I love my car, I really do, but that just wasn't the ideal situation to drive a standard in, and my left leg was a little shaky by the time I got home.

Sitting there, watching the needle on my gas tank slowly edge toward the red (because I didn't fill up, thinking I had enough to just make it home), I was struck by how I was living the ideal metaphor. Surrounded by my peers, traveling a fixed path, wanting to be someplace else doing something else. Every now and then, I could see beyond the back-up to the little cars whizzing along, happy and free.

Fortunately, my journey to whizzing along, happy and free, is not going to take 35+ years like the majority of the working population out there. It tough these days, sitting in the heat, breathing the exhaust, burning fuel. But over the hill, just around the turn, close enough to see every now and then is my financial freedom future.

CHOTTO NEMUI

Amazing how tired one can get sitting on one's butt all day.

Alternated between client work and Hawke research and client research and Hawke grunt work.

Looking at all the toys available at WebsiteSource.com, I'm getting excited about learning new stuff. Most of my job skills are used the same way, just applied to different clients. Which is neat, because that means every project is different, even though the basic process and deliverables are the "same" as every other project. Because the information is different, it's new stuff to learn.

I usually don't end up learning new applications or programs, however. Did a bit of that today for a project that will likely start next month.

But the WSS toys still looked like more fun. :)

ALFRED'S DAY OFF

Came home late. Went to grill and realized the propane tank was empty. Tonbo had already told me this, but it wasn't until I wasn't going to be able to cook my hot dogs that it really sunk in.

Since it's Alfred's day off, I had to go to the local Kroger and exchange the tank. Not a big deal, or even a particularly difficult errand, it was just inconvenient. And, when I can, I'm all about paying for convenience.

Someday someone else will mow and edge my yard, because that is more convenient for me. I will still be the one who does the weeding, however, because that is something I enjoy. And if I don't have to mow, then I have more time to weed.

More storms coming through and with all the lightning going around, I didn't bother getting on the computer. Lying in the dark on the futon with the patio door and the windows open was really nice and relaxing. I rationalized it by thinking about the Web pages and content needed to support Hawke's plan.

I woke up from thinking when the phone rang around 10:30 pm. It was my sister, calling from Mongolia. She's got this calling card to use anywhere for about 6 cents/minute, so we talked for over an hour and a half. It's so cool to hear her voice, even when she's literally half a world away. Only a small time delay, almost not really noticeable.

Caught up on stuff, and she might be interested in a similar program as what I'm setting up for Hawke. A lot of the content is re-usable, so it is portable. Still working on the scalable part, since I've never personally worked on a project of this size. Methinks a database would be mighty useful - just have to figure out who to tap into to help with it.

Tonbo called to say he was on his way home soon right after I got off the call with Karen, so I turned around and finished scrapbooking the Christmas 2001 page that had been laying out for the past week.

Again, it was my third or fourth layout that I ended up going with. Getting a bit better with doing tangible experimentation, compared to imaging everything in my head. For my personal pages, I do have to really like the final result, otherwise, every time I look at it, that little something will bother me. Grrrr.

Caught up with Tonbo. He's so cool to talk to about anything and everything. Unfortunately, that meant it was around 1:30 am when he went to bed. I put the final touches on the page, and noticed two photographs that were lying on top of each other. Not intentionally placed that way, but it looked like it would make a really nice Christmas card.

So there went another 1/2 hour. ^_^;

Tired at 2 am, but feeling good. Productive stuff done. Still much to do, but there always will be.

Talking with a co-worker during the afternoon about her weekend, and we came up with the definition for Saturday and Sunday if you work full time: those 2 days a week that are too short to get everything done that you need done.

Nice to think that won't be as much of an issue once I retire and get my 40+ hours a week back.

SUGOI!

Tonbo cleared the truck-load of firewood out of the garage last night before I got home, along with dishes and pulling in the shipped groceries. He's a good boyfriend. :)

Stayed up late working on the KFF update. Want to get that done and launched before really getting into Hawke's program. Although various aspects of it distract me all day. Have loads of ideas, but am not sure how much to commit to without overloading myself.

Researched various hosting companies and have pretty much decided on WebsiteSource.com. Need to talk to him about what package would be best, and the most scalable. Am thinking of moving my own sites over here, just so I can play with all of their user-friendly cool toys - like Miva Merchant, newsletters, chat rooms, and play with ASP pages, MySQL, and sticky content.

More thunderstorms today as foretold by a minor headache in the morning. Easily taken care of with a Coke, although now I need to watch my caffeine intake for a few days.

I've been lucky in that I haven't really had any food addictions that I couldn't (fairly) easily get rid of. In the case of caffeine, pain was a very good deterrent. These days I usually can't even finish a whole can unless I'm just slugging it down to ease my headache. In the case of carbs, not fitting into my shorts was a very good tactile indication that things were not as they were. Those are harder to avoid, since I love pasta and desserts. But I want to fit into my shorts more than I want to eat pie every night, so again, it works out.

Having a priority of wants makes things easy for me to sort out ... most of the time.

I want to fit into the same pair of shorts I've had for the past 4 years.
- Does eating a brownie at lunch help me do that?
    - No, so I don't.

I want to be financially free.
- Does buying anime DVD box sets get me closer to that goal?
    - No, so I don't.

I want to improve myself.
- Does reading Robert Kiyosaki books do that?
    - Yes, so I try to make time to read his or other self-help/self-improvement books at least 3 times a week.
- Does reading Terry Pratchett books do that?
    - Not really, but it does help me keep my sanity/emotional stability sometimes, and that means I'm able to do other things on my wants list.

So as you can see, some things get rationalized, and the above is only a sampling of my wants list.

Near the top (probably just under "I want to be financially free") is "I have to take care of myself". This tends to relate more to emotional stability than physically, although I should do a better job of that overall.

"Taking care of myself" means pushing, but not too hard. Taking a break when needed. Stretching beyond my current limits, but understanding if/when I snap back into my box, just for having attempted something new, I am not the same and have grown in some way. Giving myself permission to nap. Feeding my desire for stuff, but not excessively. Putting off self-gratification today for a truly indulgent tomorrow. Dreaming of when Saturdays are no more important than Tuesdays because I don't have to work for anyone else but myself.

PATIENCE, GRASSHOPPER

Client mtg, very nice evasive maneuvers by Nissan driving us out and back. Amazing how many idiots there are out there on the highways. And I'm sure they think the exact same thing.

Got a preliminary document outlining costs off to Hawke and am waiting for feedback/a get-together time and place.

Tonbo is at a meeting, so I'm on my own for the evening. Though I'd give daily updates a try again. Waiting for traffic to settle down anyway. Need to cook sides and food. And get back all lostness of the KFF update.

Downloaded and transferred my music library to iTunes since Matchbox Music Jukebox is, for some reason, very hosed on my laptop. So far, iTunes works fine. Have completely given up on a folder structure I understand, and have let the program have it's way. Will see what havoc results when I hook it up to the iPOD.

Had long conversation w/Tonbo last night about long-term vs. short-term gain in terms of business structure. Damn it was hard, too. My head wants the short-term because it basically guarantees my major goal in the time frame I want it to.

But "the right thing to do" is the long-term view, which will still profits me, and probably even more so, and be better around for everyone involved ... but it's long-term. Like probably beyond my initial desired deadline.

I was not raised under any specific religion, so faith is in some way very foreign to me. And total blind faith, "because I said so and you need to trust me" just messes with my head. Because most of my actions and based on decisions from my head. A few from the heart, but in that case, my head can usually do a decent job of rationalizing to make everything okay.

But ... he knows more about the biz than I do.

And I do know he's looking out for my best interests ...

And whatever structure is set up also affects his business ...

And it's still tough.

LUMBER JACK & JILL & MA & PA

Tonbo saved our morning by waking me just before 10 am, post-time change. I thought I still had another hour before we had to leave the house and head down to the parents' shop. They needed help carving up a fallen tree, and we'd get the firewood. It also sounded like a task a couple of 60 year olds might want help from a couple of younger-than-60 year olds. Not that my parents couldn't get it done on their own - it's amazing to me the stuff they do on a regular basis (pear tree house building, Mom playing tennis after knee-replacement surgery only last Feb), but with us there, it'd at least go a bit faster.

And Tonbo got to chainsaw and log split. Manly work ... and he looked good doing it too.

Unloaded some stuff from their truck, and took the trailer back to the house. Had lunch and went back and loaded the firewood into their truck. We had my lawnmower (second-time switch fixed) and 2 boxes of kindling wood that Mom convinced Dad not to pack.

Loaded up the wood into their truck and back to my place. We basically just dumped the whole truck-bed's worth of wood into the garage. I'll haul it out and stack it later this week.

Tonbo said he had an epiphany while working that afternoon. That this "project" was really only going to take a few hours. Then we'd be home with the rest of the afternoon to do whatever. Apparently his family's "projects" were events that took days of work and overall was not a pleasant experience. This was his background when I asked him yesterday if it was ok to go down and help out my parents this morning. And he said yes.

Wow.

I'm glad it was so different than what he expected, but I'm also kind of stunned by how easily he gave up the last (and often the only) day of his weekend to help me and my family out with some rather tough manual labor. He's wonderful. Really.

Visited with a friend's parents in the afternoon. I had 2 Southwest tickets that need to be used before the beginning of June, and Tonbo and I are just not going to be able to take care advantage of them. Their daughter and son-in-law live in Austin, so they can either fly down for a visit, or fly the kids up for one. It was a nice a little talk, and I got to see their house/land in the daylight. Last time I was out there, around Christmas, was for an evening visit, and as far out in the country as they are, I didn't see much of anything. Felt I was lucky to find the house, actually.

ps. It's supposed to storm tonight and through Wednesday. Headache justified.

POTENTIAL

Spent 5 hours with Hawke discussion the who/what/where/how of something that is really exciting to me. An aspect of the business that isn't being tapped into (IMHO) and has the potential to really benefit a lot of people. Lost of work to do, but it's the kind of work that I enjoy and that plays to all of my strengths.

Play to your strengths, and work on your weaknesses.

Because to completely ignore your weaknesses is to be delusional - you're only so good. And while you may be great in some area, others will stomp you in the arena of their strength. And while I don't necessarily want to beat them in that arena, I'd like to be able to hold my own. Working on it.

Had a massive headache by the time I got home. Core dumped to Tonbo, then ate dinner. Usually food will help take the edge off the headache, if it's food related. Still pounding away after my hamburger, and I made the decision not to try and calm it with caffeine, since it was already kind of late, and I'd rather sleep it off. Too much caffeine and my knee starts to hurt like crazy. Gone are the college days of breakfast consisting of a Coke and 6-pack of powdered donuts.

Plus, this headache was almost to the point of nausea, something rare for me, but lying in the quiet dark seemed like a better alternative than sitting in front of the computer and typing up my notes from the meeting that afternoon.

SUGAR DADDY

Tonbo bought me dinner tonight, so it was Wing Time! I've discovered I really like Wingstop, and since there is one within minutes of the house, it's totemo benri. Garlic Parmesan, Lemon Pepper, 2 Dinner Rolls, and a jar of their Ranch dressing - love the Ranch dressing. We also usually pick up a sack of baby carrots at the grocery store, you know, to be sure we have a healthy and balanced dinner.

^_-

RETRO BLOGGING

Yep, figured it'd happen eventually.

I'm about a week off the blog, and loosing track of what happened and what I wanted to write. So this entry will be a cheap and fast way to run through stuff that happened, not necessarily in chronological order, but enough for Remeberance's sake.

Met with BSTJ while Tonbo finished off some work from the weekend. Asking questions about how to structure a new idea for the businesses. When it works out, it will be way cool, and perhaps even a model others can follow ... what a concept.

Sticker shock at Red Lobster with Tonbo & his mom & an inadequate gift card.

Suspenders and jeans and t-shirts, oh my.

KFFing - almost done. May wait a bit since the RichDad.com affiliate program is re-vamping the links to go directly to the product detail pages, compared to the current category pages.

Client mtgs, deliverables, pitch meetings and road bumps. Does it make it any better to know that the road ahead is riddled with pot-holes and oil slicks and snakes that will drop out of the trees on you? I guess so. At least you can put the top up on the car.

Been reading entries about Stargate SG-1 effects in James Tichner's blog over at The Joint. Cool stuff.

Still researching self-publishing. Wonderful amount of options available, even just compared to a few years ago.

My business is going to provide the money for my livelihood and lifestyle, not book sales/royalties. I'd like to make my initial investment back. I'd like to sell a few copies to strangers, other than just family and friends. I'd like it if the book helped or entertained someone other than myself. But it was written for me to say something I wanted to say, some things I think are important, but I haven't found said anywhere else. And I really want to hold in my hand a (in my mind) professionally produced book that I wrote. Hopefully by the end of the year.

Lost all KFF coding since January (grrrrr) due to failed Zip cartridge. Don't know why, but sometimes these suckers just seem to go belly up and since I'm on my Win95 box without USB support, ZipNet has been my main method of transferring files.

Except I didn't transfer the files.

BACK-UP YOUR STUFF PEOPLE!!!

Ahem ....

Will get KFF up eventually, but it was really irritating, because, yet again, I know better. It seems the universe is intent on teaching me to back-up my stuff, let I keep forgetting the lesson. Therefore I will be taught it again. And the universe, after that initial tap on the shoulder, isn't subtle.

Cashflow 202 games. I initially didn't like this version, although not as much as I didn't like Cashflow 101. You have to have double your expenses in passive income to get out in 202, but you do get a beginning portfolio that has the potential to provide extra cash at some point.

My Lawyer portfolio, however, demonstrated that he didn't know much about buying stocks - both were at the top of their range. Couple of different concepts are taught. And while I like the cashflow vs capital gains cards, there is the frustration of not being able to pick the dollar range of potential investments. But Market cards every turn do speed things along.

Didn't do very well, at all, with my Puts and Calls, and haven't had the guts to short a stock yet. I tend to play as if it were real, so my risks usually aren't. Tonbo, on the other hand, plays it as a game, and sometimes wins, sometimes would have lost his shirt in real life. Overall, I'm liking 202 more than I did. I just have to play more often.